Claudette's Blog

Everyday, I am there for everyone. I cook, clean, pick up and listen to every conversation my family has. I am there day in and day out. But sometimes, I just need to recharge my own batteries, to give myself permission to be taken care of, to be pampered and do nothing.

Today was such a day for me. Every morning, I do what is called "Morning Pages" from the book "The Artist Way" from Julie Cameron. If you have never read her book or done these exercises, run, don't walk to your nearest book store and start TODAY! For the last 30 days, I've been writing 3 pages a day, long hand on whatever comes to my mind. Most morning, the pages start out with "I'm so tired. I just want to go to bed. I didn't sleep enough" blah blah blah. By the time, I've done my three pages, I have energy, solved some issues, come to some inner realization, etc. But lately, I realized that I needed to take care of myself and I wasn't doing it.

My oldest stepdaughter is getting married in a few weeks and we are all very excited. I've been there helping her with a lot of things and being present for her. I feel really special to be so involved in such an important stage in her life. I've also been very busy with my work, preparing to give speaking engagements locally, going to networking events and tweeting on the internet. But again, I was not taking care of myself much.

Well last night it happened. I had a stupid argument with my husband around a dishcloth. Aren't many of our arguments around petty little things? He does my dishes (how can I be complaining about the way he does the dishes when at least he's helping you may be asking? This will be another post). I started to tell him he didn't care about what I said, that he didn't respect my wishes, that he was too busy for me, and on and on. Well of course, this was way out of proportion and wasn't going anywhere. I went and watched some TV and just then realized just how tired I really was.

The problem had nothing to do with my husband or anything else that was going on, it was that I had lost touch with myself, I was giving so much to others that my emotional bank account was in the red. I needed to make some deposits. So that's exactly what I did today. I made some deposits.

I started out spending my morning with my very good friend MT. I love her very much as we have been through many things together. Her husband is working away from home and she is finding it really hard to deal with so many things by herself. I think she is really brave to let her husband work thousands of miles away while staying at home taking care of two teens who at times couldn't care less about their mom. Being with her this morning was great because she let me be me and we just sat together in chit chat.

Next, I went to get a manicure and pedicure. What a very nice treat, to have someone take your feet and hands and massage them, rub out those knots and tension right out of them, to allow you to sink into that chair, close your eyes and let yourself be pampered. It was a very uplifting moment for me.

I also had the pleasure of meeting a beautiful lady who was pampering herself for her upcoming 51st wedding anniversary! No typos here. That's right 51 years of marriage. I was so impressed and I told her. She told me that it takes dedication and work, commitment and time. It also reminded that really focusing on what's important in a relationship is not how the dishcloth is put away but that your partner is there every night, telling you that he loves you and that life would not be the same without you.

I've been with my husband for 19 years and we've had our share of arguments. I'm sure we will continue to have more. The one thing that I love so much about my husband is that he is able to recognize when I need to go and take care of myself, to do what I need to do to replenish my emotional bank account and be able to give so generously to others.

So ladies, gentlemen, whenever you are feeling tired, out of sort, tense, short tempered, do a little check and balance and see if it's not time for a little R & R. There is nothing in this world that is so urgent that you cannot take some time for you, a time to take this person out for a walk, or to be with a friend or just have someone else take a load off your feet.

So tell me, what are you going to do for yourself this coming weekend? What deposit are you going to make into your emotional bank account to then be able to give to others? I'd love to hear what you did for yourself. In the meantime, I'm returning to taking care of me.