Claudette's Blog

I'm sitting in my wonderful kitchen, which overlooks our backyard forest. The sun is shining on our snow-covered yard and that warms my heart. I love the first snow of the year (and this will probably be the only one, considering we live in VA). Everything look so pure and clean, so simple. It's very serene and peaceful.

Yesterday, I had the privilege to have my granddaughter and her brother spend the afternoon with us. I say her brother because he has a different dad that she does (who is my son) but he doesn't care because he calls us "Grand-mere" and "Papa" the names the kids call us by. We love these kids very much and welcome this little brother of our granddaughter with open arms.

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Have you ever wondered what was going on in your head way way back when? Well that's exactly what I've been doing for the last several days. I've decided that I was ready to write my book about being a stepmom. This is about my life and how I dealt with the ups and downs of merging our two families together.

Next January, my husband and I will be celebrating 20 years of being together. I know that it wasn't always wonderful. And there were times that I didn't even think that we would last. Several times we were on the edge and I even left for several months where my son and I stayed in a woman's shelter. I couldn't believe that my life had gone so low.

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Today, my husband sent me a forward of an article he saw online. It was sort of funny considering that recently, I hosted a teleseminar with a friend of mine Heidi Bernstein on Dating as a single parent. Heidi's expertize on divorce and dating helped people understand what they needed to do in order to be successful.

I, on the other hand brought the perspective of what merging two families is all about, the do's and don'ts of dating as a single parent.

-For one, don't start dating and bringing your date home if you've been single within a couple of months.

-Be truthful about your ins and outs with your kids. They will notice something is going on and they will become suspicious. Trust is a very fragile connection between two people. Don't break it.

-Have a vision about the kind of relationship you want and the kind of partner you are looking for. Often we are looking without really knowing what we want in life and sometimes, it's just underneath our noses.

I am sure that as stepparents, we can see some of the things that you wished you had know before getting into a relationship. I'm not saying that you wouldn't have married the person, but I bet you that you would have asked a lot more questions and clarified a lot more about your life together.

Well, just a little something I felt like sharing today.

I have a really big favor to ask of you...I need your help with a goal that I’ve set for myself. I want to reach 1000 stepfamilies in the next 10 days. That’s right 1000 stepfamilies in the next 10 days!

But I can’t do it on my own and that’s why I’m asking for your help. I am asking you to forward this emails to your family, friends, co-workers, people you know. The fact is that everyone knows of a stepfamily or two (and probably more).

Why do I want to reach these families?

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I was finally able to figure out how to post photos on my blog. So here is the link to view some of the photos of the wedding. As I get more of them, I will update this blog. Feel free to comment if you wish. Click here to go the blog.

OK. Here as another question for you to pounder. This one actually came to me after talking with couples who had been widowed for a while and eventually remarried.

Stepfamily issues arise only when younger children or teens are involved. True or False.

As you consired this question, ask yourself why or why not is this situation different or not.

See you on Wednesday.

Alright. So now you've had a few days to think about my statement on Monday which was
"Stepfamilies are the same as nuclear families (never divorced and with no prior children from other relationships) -- True or False"?

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