Claudette's Blog

I am sitting here in beautiful Roanoke, VA in our RV. This is part of life that I enjoy the most...working remotely in our RV and enjoying the scenery around me.

This morning, I gave a presentation to a moms group here in Roanoke on the Powers of Effective Communication and how it helps to build and strengthen relationships. I believe that any relationship needs to be tended to on a continuous basis. My husband and I both work quite a bit. It seems that when the kids grew up and left the nest, we thought that we would have so much time together to do what we thought we couldn't do before.

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Have you ever experienced someone taking the time to acknowledge just how you felt? How did it feel when someone was genuinely concerned about what you were going through?

• Did you feel understood?
• Loved?
• Cared for?
• Did you feel as if you mattered?

These are just a few of the things that we feel when someone takes the time to acknowledge our feelings. What better way to build and strengthen your relationships with your spouse, your kids, other family members and friends.

No one likes to be told what to do. Unsolicited advice is never welcomed and often, that’s not what people are looking for. What they want is an empathetic ear, so that they can filter through their own emotions, have a sounding board to help them decipher all that noise that is going on in their heads.

We all yearn to be understood, to be valued, to be heard. One of the most appreciated gifts people love to have, especially women, is knowing that someone is listening to them and that they are being heard and validated.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, what better gift to give than that of truly being there for the other person, of being attentive to what they are saying and being genuinely concerned about what is going on for them.

Try it and see what happens!

Have you read my special report on “Top Secrets of Highly Effective Family Communicators"? Get you very own copy here at www.coachingsteps.com. Plus, you’ll receive more tips just like these every week. The only way to improve on your relationship is by taking action now! What are you waiting for?

I was finally able to figure out how to post photos on my blog. So here is the link to view some of the photos of the wedding. As I get more of them, I will update this blog. Feel free to comment if you wish. Click here to go the blog.

In two days, my husband and I leave for a two week trip to go to my oldest stepdaughter's wedding. We will be travelling in our RV taking about 5 days to get to Key West, where the wedding is being held. We then plan on driving back within 5 days, making various stops along the way to take time to be together.

This is really a special event for me as a stepmom. It is a time that I am there as someone to support my husband as well as well as stepdaughter in the most important day in her life. My contribution to my stepdaughter's special day is based on my love for her and not necessarily on duty. As a Stepmom, I choose to be there rather than have to. I helped her with various plans such as the music, the design of the program, the place setting, etc.

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My son called me last week to announce to us that he finally asked his girlfriend of 20 months to marry him. She said yes. We were very happy because we know that he loves her very much. They have their issues and like all couples, they will learn to manage them.

One area that I hope to help them with, or at least be supportive of is Sami’s role as a stepmother. My granddaughter loves Sami very much and they never had a problem. At 5, Taylor is a very loving and affectionate little girl. She loves to dress up and to get dirty in the mud. Taylor loves to hang around Sami and Sami loves to be with Taylor

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I had received a call for Good Morning America earlier this week asking if I knew of stepfamilies that would be willing to be interviewed. So I asked around, but not many volunteered. So I was curious to find out what GMA had to say about stepfamilies.

I went to When Stepparents Get Too Involved and listened to what was said. Here are my thoughts on this....

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I enjoy gardening. I love to see my flowers bloom and give off their beautiful aroma. That is what I love about gardening. And plus, it gives me time to nurture and tend to my needs of with nature. One of my issues with gardening is that the weeds creep up when I'm not watching. How can they just pop up so fast? I realize that if I don't look after my garden on a regular basis, these pesky little weeds just come in and invade my garden. It's a constant struggle to keep up with getting rid of the weeds. It takes time and energy to create a beautiful garden.

So you might be wondering, what does this have to do with relationships?

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In today’s world maintaining a satisfied relationship requires planning and commitment. With everyone’s lives so busy, it is not automatic anymore to have time to nurture and enjoy our spouses/partners.

Just like a project, you need to set aside time to plan activities that you do as a couple. This creates shared memories that build and strengthen a relationship-the more you have the better the relationship withstands hard times.

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