Claudette's Blog

Summer is here. School is out. Kids are at home and sooner than you really would like to know, they are getting bored and looking for something to do (mainly you telling them what they can and cannot do).

Oh no! This is not at all how you were hoping your summer was going to go right? For many of us, summer time is often viewed as a time to have fun with family members, going on picnics, hikes, family events, outdoor parties, swimming, camping, etc. I’m sure that many of you have fond memories of your own summer vacations.

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All day long,I've been trying to get some work done, thinking of my next best thing. How can I help others be better parents? How can I help improve on couple's relationship? Here I am looking at my emails and reading some posts on the web and the same message kept coming up for me...Breath!

I know, we all breath. We do it without thinking. But what I am referring to here is to actually take some real deep breaths, or the Buddha Belly Breath as I've heard other coaches say and see what happens.

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MILLIONS!!!

That's right. There are over 1300 new stepfamilies being created daily (just do the math). And it's not just when you get married that you become a stepparent. Steprelationships start when you are seriously involve with your partner and started to include the children, whether you are married, living together or seriously dating one another.

There are many stepmoms in the media as well as in our day to day lives. The good thing about all of this is that they look nothing like Julie Andrews from the Sound of Music or Carol from the Brady Bunch.

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I always say that parenting is a life long commitment. It never ends. I have a 26 year old son and two stepdaughters, 26 and 27 and let me tell you that I fell very much their parent now as I did when they were tiny.

Of course, it's very different today, because I don't tell them what to do (well, sort of ;0) ) but I am there to listen to them and talk about issues they go through as they now are married and are/becoming parents.

This is the same for divorced parents. Although you may not be married to your ex-spouse, both of you have a responsibility towards your children. So where does that leave me, as a stepmom? The same place I've always been, an additional parent to my stepdaughters when they need support or someone to listen to them.

Co-parenting isn't just for little kids or teens, but for "children" of all ages, even when they leave the house and have kids of their own. Being a co-parent means that wanting to prove yourself right or better than the other parent is not part of the curriculum. It means that all adults involved in the lives of their kids do what they consider is best for everyone involved.

It requires a lot of self reflection, awareness of what is going on, and openness to alternative ways of interacting.
If you didn't get a chance to listen to an interview call with me on Sunday, February 28, 2010, then I invite you to visit the Co-Parenting Matters or you can listen to the interview call here!

If you can't see Audio Player, you might need Flash. You can download it here

Let me know what you think or share your comments with us.

Valentine's Day is now so commercialized that it's becoming almost anticlimactic. In the 20 years I've been with my husband, we've gone from going out to very expensive restaurants, to giving each other big Valentine cards and candy to now focusing on what we really care and love about each other.

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Several years ago, while going through my coach training program, I was paired up with Julie. Although I had many great coaching buddies, Julie stood out for me. A friend had asked Julie to walk a half marathon with her. She at first thought no way but what came out of her mouth was OK! She had no idea how she was going to accomplish this and before you knew it, she did five half marathons.

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There are some days where I love to just browse around on the internet and read what other people have to say. Today was one of those days. I got a notice from blogger and Sister Stepmom Jaqueline Fletcher that she had written a post Just say No. I really enjoyed that Jacque tells us stepmoms that it's really important to voice our stance and that saying no is actually saying yes to yourself.

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By Annie Fox

Good ol’ Mr. Rogers knew what he was singing about when he was putting on his sneakers: “I mean I might just make mistakes if I should have to hurry up and so I like to take my time.” When he was home, I’m sure his kids got at least the same level of attention as he gave his shoe laces. To his credit, that guy could really focus on one thing at a time.

Recently I’m becoming more aware of how cranky, stressed and distracted I get when I try to do a whole lot of stuff at once. So I’m trying to slow down and zero in. But it ain’t easy. Admittedly, as I’m writing this I’m also picking remnants of chewed almonds from in between my teeth, answering email, tweeting, and squinting at this sentence as I wonder how long it will take for the eyeglasses I left in our hotel room in Elko, NV to make their way back here. (Soon please!)

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